We have a rule in our relationship that applies to our sushi dates. When we get a boatload of sushi, we do not get a cocktail or drink with it. This goes back to the this-AND-that mindset I spoke about in a recent article and how it might be used in your financial life. The AND mindset should be used carefully in combination with intention setting, not as an excuse to splurge.
The practice here is simple. Don’t nickel-and-dime your way through an experience trying to make the AND mindset work. Instead, set your intentions beforehand by brainstorming what you are hoping to get out of the experience. And how you might cost-effectively get it without compromising the experience before you get caught up in the moment.
For example, instead of complicating an amazing dinner experience by getting two cocktails apiece (about $40), go all out on just dinner by splurging on that high ticket food item you rarely get. This will enable you to become more present at dinner because you’re not feeling guilty or self-conscious on how much more your cocktails contributed to the bill.
This leaves you with a couple of options.
- Make dinner at home before you go out and only choose drinks as your night out.
- Have a fancy dinner out and make cocktails at home.
- Enjoy Happy Hour appetizers and cocktails and make dinner at home.
The AND mindset is not an excuse for you to splurge. Be honest with yourself by setting your intentions about what experience you want before your willpower is tested. This will help you find ways to use the AND mindset in a way that doesn’t compromise your budget or values.
So remember, when you get this much sushi, you do not get a drink too. Unless you intentionally made a plan for it.